If your school sends every email to one parent, you can fix it with one short letter. Most US schools keep one "primary contact" per student in their system, and that field decides who gets the field-trip form, the early-dismissal notice and the picture-day reminder. Ask, in writing, for both parents to be listed on every list. Below is the letter to send, ready to copy.
It works because it isn't a complaint. It gives the office exactly what it needs: both names, both emails, both phone numbers, and one clear request.
The letter (copy, fill in, send)
Subject: Please add both parents to all communications for [child's name], [grade]
Dear [teacher / front office / Ms. Name],
Both of us are [child's name]'s parents and we share the day-to-day: pickups, forms, appointments and sick days. Right now school emails and messages reach only one of us, which means the other parent finds out late or not at all.
Could you please add both of us to every communication list for [child's name]: class emails, the school newsletter, the parent portal, the messaging app, emergency alerts and any teacher updates?
Parent 1: [full name], [email], [mobile]
Parent 2: [full name], [email], [mobile]
If the system allows only one "primary contact", please keep [name] as primary and add [name] as a second contact who receives all the same messages. If there is a form we should fill in instead, send it over and we'll return it the same day.
Thank you for everything you do for the kids.
[Both names]
Where else to make the same change
The parent portal (PowerSchool, Infinite Campus, Skyward, Aeries): both parents need their own login, not a shared one. Ask the office to create the second account.
The class messaging app (ClassDojo, Remind, ParentSquare, Bloomz, Seesaw): each parent joins separately with their own phone number. Check that both of you are in every class and group.
The PTA and room-parent lists: these usually live in a separate spreadsheet. One email to the room parent fixes it.
After-school, sports and lessons: same letter, same two contacts. Coaches' group texts are the ones parents miss most.
The pediatrician and the dentist: ask for appointment reminders to go to both phones.
Why this is worth ten minutes
Whoever gets the emails becomes the parent who knows, and the parent who knows becomes the parent who does. It is that simple, and it starts with a contact field. If you want to see how much of the family's noticing and planning currently sits with one of you, the Mental Load Calculator takes about three minutes; compare answers with your partner. The longer version of the setup, including what to do when the school says it can only store one address, is in how to get both parents in the loop on school emails.
Zazu does the part after the letter: it lives in WhatsApp and iMessage, reads the school emails and calendars with your permission, tells both parents what's coming, and asks who's taking each job. It asks before it acts. But the letter comes first, and it costs nothing.